Posted in Come into my web by Emily Diehl on 4/27/2012
We are supposed to write an expectations blog,
I have a list I’m working on, but here’s my first one (dont worry, I dont intent on a blog per expectation!) :)
1. Become a ‘Christian Freak’
I know in my Spirit this is my calling, it’s a good thing to me, and more a terrifying one. Each time I’ve texted, called, or skpyed a World Race teammate and my close friends, I tend to become pretty scared, 'what will they see in me? Will they accept me?' You bet I still do this with some of my closest friends, It's sort of like I'm waiting for them to snap into reality and see this person who Satan tells me I am, but falling into that trap would be easy, and each time we chat – I’ve felt this pull, stronger than ever in my life. It’s like I’m alive and free, with my family.
And the person God created.
In my own life, I’m extremely hesitant, and fearful.
The expectations and acceptances of this world scare the wits out of me.
I always thought, God put certain friends in my life at certain points, for His reasons, and this was why I am still here today.
True
So I can’t lose them
I can’t lose that
Or I will lose myself, again.
But
God put them here,
Not I
Nor anyone else
God did. And he will again,
And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19
Strong faith.
Not really.
You see, I send out these mass text messages (it’s likely many of you have received one or two, today) and sometimes I hesitate in who I send them out to, ‘does this person believe in God?’
Am I not sending them this message because
a. I may offend them by sounding preachy or implicate that ‘I know all the answers and this is the only way etc’
b. They may reject me
c. They may not like me anymore
d. They may think I’m off my rocker
e. I may lose them forever
f. All of the above
The answer, as in many tests you’ve taken, is F. all of the above
Some days I’m selective, other days I’m not
But all days, I’m afraid to send them, even to my friends who call God the Father.
I have had many people respond back in disagreement, or picking a, b, c, d, e,
To me, it’s simple, why option F would be taken. As it’s much easier to cut someone out of your life, than it is to listen, or open to them,
Who really invites vulnerability, doubt, change, faith, the God I believe in, into their life-? I’m talking about opening the door and welcoming Him in, not just peaking through the window, or the vertical crack as you barely open the door from its frame.
Full-fledged, invite.
I myself, struggle to do this, so I can’t say I’m surprised at those who take option F.
To me, option F, is the world, the routine of the world, and that’s ok. I can’t make that choice, nor am I that person,
Now, am I more afraid of a, b, c, d, e, and f or am I more afraid of not following Jesus?
How do I pick who receives that message?
I don’t
Sometimes I allow God to lead the recipients,
Other times, I’m so fearful of sharing that message with certain people, because I REALLY don’t want to lose their friendship, love and support.
But if I’m relying on that,
I’m not relying on God.
It would be like a teenager constantly being influenced by their friends rather than their own father. It seems ok at first, (the friends are super respectful, well-behaved, nice, and studious) –but where is the relationship with the Father?
And this is a great Father. Who just wants to get to know his kid, play ball with him, go for a walk with him, build engines and go hunting, or shopping, and concerts?
The teen feels like the Father is nagging, over-protective, strict, and not so much fun. Who knows? Maybe the teen has a secret, that he knows his father will be disappointed, ashamed, unforgiving. Maybe the teen doesnt feel loved, whole, or a part of the family. Maybe they want to 'prove themselves' 'fix themselves' 'make themselves worthy' before they come to their father. The teen also knows there are other siblings and friends their father has, and that's plenty, they have nothing to give, or dont think the father really wants anything from them.
But, they've never asked the father any of this.
And while the Father has many other children, part of him is dying for the love of this child.
The Father is dying.
“What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish." Matthew 18:12-14
But it’s easier for the teenager to ignore the Father, and go about his own life, as he’s earned it
The father lets go, but will always be present, just ‘in case’.
And the relationship lingers
Yet the father waits
Maybe it’s not the same thing,
But as I write out messages, I still have a few friends, who I’m terrified to forward them to.
What does that make me?
A lost child?
A non-deserving child?
Human?
No>
A young lamb, with much more to learn. But one who ALWAYS has a family of support.
Always.
And that family, is God.
If you believe in God, in heaven, in the teachings of Christ and the Word – how could you not try to share that with someone else? As much as I fall short in this, every day, all God asks, is that I am willing to be used. That I’m willing to ‘select’ and ‘send’.
Not for me, but for Him,
As the teenager separates from the father, the father can only watch, pray and love, in hopes that he can bring his child back to the family, or the child will come back to him. And the teenager, who will someday, turn to this father.
Because everyone needs to be loved.
And that, in my opinion, is a ‘Christian Freak’ = the urge to spread the love of Christ.
-Thanks for reading
Emily
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Posted in Come into my web by Emily Diehl on 3/22/2012
For once, I really don’t have much to say:
My feet have left the edge
What I have been on –I refer to as the brink of the brink (a good place)
I’ve been home for a little over a month
It’s been, rocky, unpredictable, negative, and -uplifting,
I’ve fallen to some dangerous old habits-mostly the ‘not good enough part’
It’s shocking to myself- I have great friends, who have always loved me, and shown me in many different ways, -yet, I never felt like I was enough, or could do anything to settle that part in my head that told me,
Not enough
However--- I had one friend tell me this: >>
you have all you need right now
and
you are the best you can be right now-Because this is where I am in life right now and as much as I know right now is all that I know right now and that makes me the best I can be right now. I think this in the same way with other settings. Diehl, you are the best Emily Diehl can be right now!
So back to the entrance on the board game- it doesn’t matter what piece you select to play- you select one, and you play – I live, sweat, beg, and jump-to play
With all the squares, colors, windows, meadows, ice-coated slides, choices, options, opportunities, perspectives, -all in the field I’ve been chosen to participate in, will not make or break me, because I have the Lord- they will challenge, doubt, question, push me down, flood me in the current, and attempt to bind me- but the board-will not touch me, define me, instruct me, or play with me.
My eyes are set on Christ.
Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:2
Who I am, has always been an identity in Christ,
Where I am has always been Christ bound
-I’m right where I’m supposed to be – doing what I’m supposed to be doing – and thriving.
Because of Christ.
I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. Philippians 3:14
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Posted in Come into my web by Emily Diehl on 2/20/2012
Home at last—Wisconsin that is!
Prior to leaving Korea a few friends told me i would be a good example for others and for family members.
I find this comical, the only thing is
If I rely on my example, nothing will change
But if I rely on GOD, everything will change
Let me tell you>
I AM JUST A STORY
The real impact is whether a person will read it and apply it
How does that work?
Lots of prayer, and lots of relying on God
People don’t want a factor in the equation-you plug in, they want the answer, and they want the path to the factors of x.
The factors of x- can be a scary and nasty road,
I often ask friends,-
where are the simple questions, where is the rest?
-but I realize that,God’s power thrives in trials, so I invite them in
>>>
Sometimes you will watch someone you love hit all the dead ends, everything you yourself have already been through and knows the one thing that will save them, yet, telling them doesn’t do anything, even sharing the words, doesn’t do anything, then the cycle becomes repeated dead ends, anger, burden-heavy frustration, pain, anguish, prideful fall,
And you cant do anything
All of this is a lie
The truth; show them the way out. Show them the love you have found, every second, show them, your own cycle of destruction, the broken clay, rebuilt, ---be vulnerable, ‘
Show them
And you will have a chance to ‘go get them'’
When this happens, your own frame will be busted up, but made fresh, and new.
Maybe because it gives you a different perspective, because you care so much that you don’t want that path for this person, for anyone, so you allow gravity to take you down with them, and you bury your hands upon their shoulders, and you sit there
For awhile
Maybe years
And your heart can handle this, because this drop below the earth, is where you came from.
THIS is where I came from, -meaning someone or many people had to ‘come and get me’.
People are crazy.
It’s sort of like you see a person on WIPEOUT (hilarious show) – being bashed around, and you are just
merely passing through, but something slows your steps, and you have an opening to ‘go and get them’
Um, really??????????
Do you really want to go out into that chaotic obstacle course? I’m pretty atheletic and I would get smashed in the face, over and over again, and flung into walls, hammers and mudslides. I’m 100% sure.
But>
anyone can be used to save someone. I’m 100% sure of that.
Will you enter the game?
Show them the love they too can have every day= be on guard, be of heart, be His.
It’s all you are and all you ever can be .
Will you bow out in frustration, trying to lift them up?
Or will you bend down, and hold them in their boiling rage, tearful falter, negative ambush,
Being an example is great, allowing others to ‘see’ your own path, but it may require you ‘reliving that past person’
It gets easier with God. Because it’s all for his glory.
I don’t think you can lift someone else up without going down to where they are,
It’s like weeding my way through that crazy place, because I know God is with me, using a machete to whack down ALL of the tangled vines.--it's a pretty cool defense ;)
>>>>as well as my brothers and sisters, in prayer, in perspective, in presence, in power, and in love.
People say I am strong, a strong woman
I am only strong in Christ
I wasnt born strong either. Meaning, that
PEOPLE ARE CRAZY!
Some of you fools actually stepped out into the WIPEOUT Zone to 'come and get me',
They are now INSANE!
I still do not understand 'why'.
why people jumped into the WIPEOUT Zone, and why they still are jumping for me, - because, I am a very frustrating, and irritating person.
The only answer to the 'why'-
=
LOVE- people who are in love with others, are indeed
CRAZY
and there's no crazier love than God's love for us.
I am only strong in my brothers and sisters, who every day give me a reason to wake up, -this world is all connected, we function with others, ones we don’t get along with, and ones we honor.
I would not survive without the people I encounter every day; includiung the angry drivers, the impatient clerks, the elderly who take their sweet time in the cross-walks, ;) the overworked-stressed out bar-tender, the postal worker who has no idea how to ship your package, maybe the angry brother who sees no purpose in life, and the mother who gossips so much you would like to ship your brain to another state,
With all that I see, there’s always another story, another perspective, something below the core of the earth’s surface.
"But God chose the foolish things of the world to
shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the
world to shame the strong," 1 Corinthians 1:27
Humbled, I bow down, and bend.
God placed them on my path, and He uses them to save me, every single second He allows me to breathe life. (this is a cool color!)
I can tell you all my stories,
But instead
I’m asking you to
Let me show you
-thanks for reading
-Emily
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Posted in Come into my web by Emily Diehl on 2/9/2012
You could tell someone that an apple is better for you than apple pie,
Until they recognize, ask for ideas (help), and surrender, -nothing happens,
When they surrender –everything changes,
And when they give their struggles to God, the roots of His heart implant, and your Spirit, can FINALLY breathe
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I’m going to try to make this short but it’s not going to be sweet, it might leave a foul taste in your mouth and
an even more helpless one on your heart, > for that, I apologize and I also want to apologize to my friends and
family, because not many of them know >> but this isn’t about me.
It’s about Him.
In Fear there is Freedom
Until I felt freedom in God, I couldn’t write this. I couldn’t reveal to more people because it was for all the wrong reasons.
So why post it now? I’m not sure; I feel safe in God and feel Him with me as I try to portray this to you.
In Fear there is Freedom
Since August 2010, I’ve struggled with bulimia. Essentially, I am bulimic.
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;
1 Corinthians 6:19
This was my choice. I had lost the mind battle, the emotions took over, and my behavior became destructive.
And
I did not care
It was only temporary
Then it became more permanent
And
I am a contradiction
---I love fitness, I love working out, I love that challenge, I love having energy, I LOVE it all
But in this, I lost all I thought I was.
Every
Day
Not once a day
Sometimes five times a day
Maybe more
It’s got: selfish, sinner, broken body of Christ, pride, fear, control, self-esteem, broken, idols, deceit, weak, destruction, punishment, conviction, waste, worthless, written, all over.
Most days, I didn’t believe in a way out. And I had God. I knew He was the way out, the only way out for me.
“Look at this mess, what did you do?!”
Sort of like seeing a murderous scene, some type of bloodbath and I really don’t have any other words to describe that haunting routine.
In Fear there is Freedom
Everything I thought I was, or was important during this time, was wrong. I could not have been MORE GUILTY.
I can write you a book, on daily struggles, what I did to start to get out of it, who helped me, some counseling I have been doing, books I read, who I turned to, essentially
>>>>THIS is what has GOD written all over it.
And that’s all that matters
So my first post on here, was about me almost taking my own life a few times, and now I fell in deeper to an embarrassing, unforgiveable sin. In which everyone has a right to rebuke me for.
None of that matters
Because, Christ’s blood saves me. And it makes me new,
He came
Held me
Washed me clean
And gave me a new heart
And now
The ONLY thing that satisfies me in that sensation is God.
So today
Every time, I’m hungry,
I surrender
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17
I’m finally to a point where I can enjoy food, not worry about it, because,
I am not bulimic
I am His
That’s all I am, and it is enough, again. :)
(I realize that, I have more counsel work to go through etc, but now, I can faithfully say, ‘the healing has begun’)
a last side note: All I ask for is support and prayer in this. Some of you may have questions, that's fine, I might talk to you, I might not- just trust in God that I am getting the help I need in this, I refuse to allow Satans lies to take over-sometimes even family can contribute a lie and unloving deceit to someone they love, unintentionally.
I am not trying to say I'm just 'over this', as I stated in the blog, every time I eat, I sort of have to surrender.That's just where I'm at and that's ok, and it's mostly just a step for me, I apologize if the blog came off as 'I'm suddenly free completely of this' -to me where I am now is a huge victory.
and if you just think that I'm living in fantasy island and am crazy. Maybe I am, I like where I'm at, I'm ready to keep thriving, rather than hiding, and if you dont trust me. I'm not asking you to trust me persay, because obviously my way did not work that well, :)
Trust God.
,
Praise
Our
Lord
In Fear there is Freedom
-thanks for reading
--Emily
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Posted in Come into my web by Emily Diehl on 2/7/2012
Warning- this post is SUPER LONG, :)
“I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me” -2 Corinthians 12:7-8
This morning, during my workout, I was thinking about a story I read a few days ago,
Yeah crazy, I think about God a lot when I workout, >glorifying His temple, something like that.
The story is a part of a book I’m reading and it made me nauseous. The story is four sentences long. After the first two, I stood up, and walked away from it. I did not want to finish it. I knew what was coming, and I couldn’t read, I had to pause, leave my kindle open, and stand up, walk around, walk away, I knew where this story was going and I could not take it, I was sick to my stomach,
The inevitable break, was coming, and I had to read about it, I really don’t want to
Here’s the story:
I was in line at the Giant Food supermarket in Washington, DC, when a woman ahead of me in line was buying some basic foods, very few items, including a package of the cheapest, fattiest meat I had ever seen.
As the cashier got closer to the end of ringing up her eight items, the woman kept asking for the subtotal and digging into her small change purse, realized as the meat mad it’s sad journey up the conveyer belt, that she could never afford it. She lacked $1.07. With the saddest eyes I had ever seen, she told the cashier to put it back.
Boom
Butter cake and Dixie trees
Humbled
Chilled
Gravity took my heart after, “the woman kept asking for the subtotal and digging into her small change purse,”
Click here to continue reading...
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Posted in Come into my web by Emily Diehl on 1/15/2012
You will see me write this often:
I am nothing
Without Christ
Nothing makes sense
Without Christ
I am not sure why God chose me to go on this Race, -I think he’s sort of crazy.
I have a lot of SUPER brothers and ELECTRIFYING sisters in Him, who are WAY more qualified to take on this task, of,
Well
I’m not sure what the task is yet
But they are smarter, better workers, bright, sponged in His word like a shark in the Pacific,
Trust me; they know what’s going on,
Or they seem to
Me?
I have no idea
No clue what’s going on,
The only truth I know is Matthew 11:28
““Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Now, some may want proof of this, or evidence
That’s me,
I’m the fact.
I’m 100% certain, without Christ, I would have found rest in the grave, before it was due.
Some people might say that, my friends, family, and passions in life, ……those things saved me.
You’re right.
I would say that to,
Everything I have, everything I am, and everything I’ve encountered
Came from God.
If you know me, you’d know that,
I’m stubborn and prideful. I like to be recognized, I like for people to say, ‘that girl is strong, she’s battled demons and come out on top, and she’s hard working, you can’t touch her’
I live for that
I breathe that in
It fills my soul
Or so,
I thought
Temporarily, it worked,
But temporary,
Doesn’t last
The roots of my Spirit were in anguish,
Because the root of my heart
Was in a soil of God
But
I didn’t believe in that,
So growth?
Didn’t exist
And I was ok with that
I can do routine
I’m running the show here!
Ever heard the saying “the bigger they are, the harder they fall?”
I’ve got a set of 30 story high walking legs, Andre the Giant’s torso, and Einstein’s brains.
Ouch
After falling more than the Minnesota Vikings do every year (sorry friends) –
The base below the heart begins to create a valley of some sort
And the ‘V’ nearly fell beneath Christ’s hand,
I was slipping
But
I was ok with that
I found things to cling to,
Temporary things
I learned
In all of that
God is the only thing
That’s consistent
He doesn’t care that I not only ignored his reach, I burned his hand,
And his other hand?
I buried it
And I was ok with that
I was ok with the dead-end street,
There are a lot of them
But
With Christ
There are invisible bridges at the end of them
Proof?
Those hands that I did EVERYTHING in my power, and with all earthly things, those hands I tried to destroy, ignore, and extinguish, those hands, faithfully, overwhelmed, redeemed, lifted, and carried me.
I’m from an invisible bridge
How?
When you get to the end, or what you think is the end, and you're ready for the hammer to fall, you've abandoned everything,
every
thing
>God is still faithful, and everything I did, everything I destroyed, battered and crushed,
didnt even cast a gray shadow over His love for me.
So why would God give me the foundation of His Spirit and web my heart to the life of Christ?
Because
the only truth I know is:
“But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord,” 1 Corinthians 1:27-31
-Thanks for reading
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Posted in Come into my web by Emily Diehl on 12/26/2011
hope everyone had ahope everyone had a great Christmas, I got to skype
part of my family,
Hope everyone had a great Christmas, I got to skype part of my family, (the Diehl side, so many BEAUTIFUL cousins, aunts and uncles!) and my female cousins just rock-GIRL POWER.
It was wonderful and agonizing, I just wanted to HUG them! But, I am so lucky to be able to do that,
Later in the day, (on the subway and at my apartment)
I cried about 3-4 times but my tears were all because I found myself so well-rested in a few conversations I had, and that comfort is something I spent
10 years trying to find, to feel , for one breath,
>and I know you dont know everything about me, but, I've tried just about everything on this earth that I THOUGHT could get me that,
most of it derived in the darkness and self-destruction, but tonight. I was able to rest
in Him
knowing He has had His hand in everything,
in all of us, 24/7
the impenetrable net of
a cushion of His cross, and
His love, for us, His children
FREEDOM
"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope," Romans 5:3-4
-dont hold your guilt, thinking you've fell too far-
I know places your heart can go, where the empty
sadness will stain, and you will doubt whether your
existence can sustain. This is not the end, but a
numbing rise, to be cradled in His arms.
Trust me / as former Queen of Lucifer's acres
I know and
I will show you the landscapes of God's Glory.
God keeps His Promises.
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal," 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
-Thanks for reading
love you great Christmas, I got to skype part of my family,
it was wonderful and agonizing, I just wanted to HUG them! But, I am so lucky to be able to do that, I cried about 3-4 times today but my tears were all because I found myself so well-rested in a few conversations I had, and that comfort is something I spent 10 years trying to find, to feel , for one breath, >and I know you dont know everything about me, but, I've tried just about everything on this earth that I THOUGHT could get me that, most of it derived in the darkness and self-destruction, but tonight. I was able to rest in Him
FREEDOM
-dont hold your guilt, thinking you've fell too far-
I know places your heart can go, where the empty
sadness will stain, and you will doubt whether your
existence can sustain. This is not the end, but a
numbing rise, to be cradled in His arms.
Trust me.
love you
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Posted in Come into my web by Emily Diehl on 12/24/2011
Every day begins with Thanks
and
A Choice
I was thinking about the World Race today,and could not but help thinking that I don’t want to go on it. I mean, part of me is really excited to go FOR HIM, with others and read their stories and see EVERYTHING
I enjoy that stuff, but that stuff also terrorizes me
Here’s a secret:
The World Race scares the crap out of me,
I’m not afraid of change, the future, because I know God’s work is in all of that, but I know, the Race is going to make me more uncomfortable than I have ever been
And I’ve showered naked among many Korean women, been in a swimming locker room trying to get a fast skin on (THAT is a struggle! It’s like a workout!), I’ve been screamed at by authority figures in front of an entire class, and family members, I’ve been confronted about sins from those I love, I’ve had to ask forgiveness from those that I REALLY did not want to ask for it,
I am not sure why I fear breaking that last chain, I am not sure why I seem to hold the last chain, is it really the last chain? I think so.
Is it rejection I fear?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>????
It is much worse
The Holy Spirit
I fear what Christ gave me
I am more afraid to be who I am, who Christ created me to be, than to be the person Satan tells me to be.
Woa, this girl is crazy.
Do you understand?
See
the familiar routine is where I survive, where I dwell, the constant pattern, the operation, the practice,
If you started a fire criss-crossing kindle with newspapers and a match, for 12 some years,
Wouldn’t you keep starting the fire that way?
On the World Race, I wont have the wood, the newspaper, or the matches,
It will be just me, and the faith I have in Christ.
Radiated ever so deeply in me, I know that is enough
But I fear this new fire because, I cannot control it
I cannot see it,
I cannot build it with my own hands
And
I cannot put it out,
I can hide it
I can cut off oxygen
I can ignore it
I can lie to it
But
It is a fire, and a fire from Christ is like an everlasting gobbstopper from Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. Indesctructible, flawless, sweet, forms from many layers, small and big in diameter, but all you need, magical, pretty inexpensive, it comes in many varieties, and if you try to dissolve it, you might bust your jaw and your pride.
The fire sits there like a shadows glass of regret,
Sometimes I embrace it, and I feel this passion - bees bringing honey to their queen, a beavers tireless grinding of it’s dam, the siren of the hawk as a warning to it's nest
But mostly, it halts me. Like a creature of the day, thrown into the dark, without night vision
My sight lacks on all levels, all the time
The World Race will expose me for all I am, and I will be presented with the choice to be
all I am in Him.
It’s question and the answer seems easy: What is “Yes”.
Correct?
Or
I’m sorry, "you are incorrect"
Yet
I still h-e-s-i-t-a-t-e
Why?
Many reasons,
Ones you will find out about as I prepare,
And others, as I Race,
I know God is asking me to take my hands off the cover,
And for so long
I didn’t know how to do that,
Now, with the glimpses of air,
My doubt has increased.
Because I don’t know where this will lead.
And it’s easier to huddle in myself, than it is to drape myself in Christ.
Yet, He still chooses to cover me, and I still don’t know why.
The ‘why’ I’ve been asking Him since I was 12 years old,
-why am I here
-why cant I end this
-why is this soooooooooooooooooooooo HARD
-why would you create a world like this, why are these feelings put in me,
-why
Why.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Because
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> I
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> trust
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> you
This post may seem selfish, and I apologize for that, I understand the opportunity I have, I don’t know why I have this opportunity, only He does, but I trust Him, I know He wouldn’t put us through anything we cannot handle
"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it" 1 Corinthians 10:13
I’m just asking once again, for your prayers PLEASE
Because my hands, heart, eyes and that fire my flesh has chambered for so long, knows
Emily Diehl, is going to be ripped apart,
As anguish awaits my flesh, that fire will thrive, and Christ will be with me,
Through it all.
I don’t want to leave, but every day, I can feel Him.
And when He puts something on my heart, my hands collapse and the lid begins to slide………………
and though I panic,
I already know who is on my side.
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Posted in Come into my web by Emily Diehl on 12/11/2011
Short -more of getting to know me/my family page
As I haven’t done this yet,
I am extremely sarcastic, and so is my family
I’m not sure if they have found or are reading my blog, but maybe the pictures will direct their attention
Glorious! Left to right: Andrew, my oldest brother is 28, he works in accounting/financing, Big sports fan
and though, he wont ever admit it, he's really good about taking care of the younger siblings,
Abigail, younger sister is 20, in college, studying to be a teacher, I look up to her and have
always wanted to be more like her. Matthew, younger brother is 24, about to graduate and be
a teacher! My little brother has always supported and held me up, he was one of the first people
who would accept me for who I was-even when I didnt know it.
Left to right, Alex! My second oldest brother is 26, extremely intelligent, big sports fan,
remembers nearly everything, and has given me strength numerous times in my life.
Ashley, a good friend of ours! as well as Derek!
My mom, sister and I in Korea! Love you mom! at least I didnt put up the squid picture. :)
My aunt Judi, and my dad. Judi, has been one of the
biggest blessings on my life. She loves to travel and
interact with different cultures, help people, and learn about
them. I wouldnt be who I am without her. My father is
EXTREMELY humble, in most cases. He would do anything
for anyone if they asked him, very hard working. He likes to
go hunting and be outside. Love you Judi and dad!
I LOVE hunting, my dad, uncle, and their friends have some land about an hour from my
house, I love it there. I go with my brothers, dad, Uncle and some good family friends,
GIRL POWER
Here's my Grandma!
She's 81 and still rocking!
This guy looks pretty scary. I know! Valentine (his name!)
We call him Val, I have known him since I was 5, he's
friends with my father, and seems terrifying but has a
Santa Claus heart, :)
There's a little intro, like I said, my family and I dont really do pictures
hope that wasnt too painful
:)
Thanks for glancing!
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Posted in Come into my web by Emily Diehl on 12/10/2011
"Do you know who you are?"
"I don't try to figure it out, really."
"Maybe it's not important.................."
"It's about what we do for each other, isn't it?"
The first steps to
Freedom
I dont really want pain, so I choose humility.
-I am prideful and I miss it, All. The. Time.
-Yet, the Father asks me to serve.
-Being humble, does not mean you are weak.
-
Some people think they are alone, when in fact, they are just in a room full of ghostly mimes.
You can feel them, but most of the time, it’s the fear you feel.
And it’s so painful that you wish you couldn’t feel at all.
I don’t have regrets.
I have tears, memories of sheer blackening shivers, ….as far as self-worth? I don’t think you could fail as much as I did/have.
Failure is beautiful, in failure we have to tell someone about that story, that particular point in our lives, when it was over. The truth resides in the vocalization. And that’s where everything will be held up.
Held up in its’ most saturating, crisp, exposed, radiant form.
“Would You hold me, would You hold me up?
'Cause I can barely, I can barely stand
The weight I carry is gonna pull me under,”
Anyone who thinks they are torn up and spread out and trying to glue, tape, bond all the pieces of ourselves back into some sort of functioning body; When I witness this > That is the third most beautiful thing on this Earth
When this person realizes the shreds of their soul are in every angle, curve, step, coat, brush, crinkle, bland, dull, stain, and aspect………….exactly what they are created to be; and interlock > That is the second most beautiful thing on this Earth
“Take me away from all the chaos
Give me the strength to live again
There is a truth found in the promise
That You are the hope that never ends,”
Now this person will begin a process. They will wake up as if they fell asleep without legs, arms, hands, feet, eyes, ears, torsos, elbows, jaw-lines, cheeks, knees, lungs; and we are all infants, once again, and the game continues, and the ghostly mimes, they take part in holding you up as we begin this stand,
Together
>That is the most beautiful thing on this Earth
“God I need You,
'Cause all around me my world's crashing down
And You're the only, You're the only One
That can hold me up,”
"I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:7-9
-Thanks for reading,
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